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What is the New Normal in Dating?

By August 22, 2013September 30th, 2015Editorials

What is the New Normal in Dating?

By Gillian Miller

Thanks to reality television where the women are out of control, settling for blatant cheating men, arguing over dumb stuff, physical altercations with their fellow sistahs, and side chicks stepping to main chicks as if it’s their right. It seems we now live in a world where a lady, one who exudes confidence and carries herself with self-respect, dignity, and class, are now abnormal. I don’t consider these “women” women, rather little girls dressed in women’s clothing.

Guys start believing that because their BS has been tolerated from these little girls dressed in women’s clothing, that all women are equally as accepting or tolerant of it. So, when a dude approaches a lady, running that same game that got him the alternative and she calls him out on his ways, that woman is labeled stuck up or they think she thinks she’s too good, or the classic, she’s bitter and the angry black woman.

In another scenario, when a woman starts seeing a man, if she has a life outside of a man, her career, school, kids, social life, some men frown upon this.  She’s either “intimidating” or she’s “a busy woman.” Meaning, she doesn’t have time to fit him into her schedule. In essence a guy who leads with his ego is the guy who says the above. What he’s basically saying is that she doesn’t have time to cater to his ego.

To the left, to the left, please.

Her having a life simply means she’s reached a level of comfort as a single woman, as she should. She’s handling her business, taking care of herself and her home regardless of not being in a relationship. I thought these traits were what men claimed they sought in a woman? Let me share a little secret…if a man is sincerely interested in a woman she will make time for him period. I don’t know any woman who finds that unattractive; I don’t know any woman who doesn’t want to feel she’s interesting to a man.

Let’s separate the boys from the men. I’m not saying men have this mindset, but the boys who profess to be men, yet their actions and attitudes say the opposite. A woman knows her worth and a man recognizes this and in return will treat her with nothing less than respect because she demands it. Not in her words but in her actions.

I don’t necessarily put the entire blame on men. Some of the ladies have stopped wanting to be courted. Giving too much of themselves too soon. So, why would a man think he has to be a gentleman? I’ve heard several times from men, that a man will not commit until he’s ready and there is nothing a woman can do to change that. If he’s showing you he’s not ready to commit then ladies act accordingly!

It seems lately, women have lowered their standards…and I’m not talking about a laundry list of qualities, I’m saying your standards in what is acceptable and what isn’t, and until some of you Princesses’ start exhibiting yourselves as Queens, maybe you’ll stop settling for the Prince and land you a King; stop settling for the player when you can land the owner, and when dudes stop giving their attention to the little girls dressed in women’s clothing just because she’s easy, maybe he’ll get the attention of a woman, because contrary to popular belief a self-respecting woman lives drama free. She doesn’t have to worry about what her guy is doing and whether or not he’s being truthful, because she’s comfortable in her own skin and has her own hobbies. Until proven otherwise, she has no reason to question her mate and even then she won’t, she’ll chuck up the deuces and keep it moving with her head held high.

Actions speak louder than words, a man/woman will show you who he/she is, we just have to pay attention and if his/her words don’t match his/her actions, a real man, a real woman exits stage left.

But…if you boys want to entertain the girls, and vice versa, then let me thank you in advance for stepping aside so that the men can approach the women.


I’m just saying.

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